THE WARM & COZY FAMILY PAGE

Sorry, but the title iz a lie. This iz really the HARROWING CYNICAL DIATRIBE page for all you blind mind herd beasts who still believe English is never going to change. Read the whole thing or just your section. If you think its too harsh, go hide in your safe mamby pamby suburb and warn the PTA about the dangerous heretic who iz undermining everything wholesome and sacred. Hold on while I plug in my Matt Foley personality module & then il start chewing on your brain.

OK! Here we go!

JUNIOR : You probably have big dreemz while youre trying to get to sleep on a lazy summer vacation nite. But wen skool starts again youll be slammed back down to Earth by the harsh reality that you arent anything special. That big D- on the history test iz casting a gloomy shadow over your Empire. And plenty uv kidz at skool are smarter andor stronger than you and even they arent getting anywhere. If they cant distinguish themselvez beyond the local district, wut hope do you hav?

Do you ever get the notion that they have you doing 3 owrz uv pointless homework every nite just to keep you frum doing anything that mite get you off the road to slavery? That they want you to be so bogged down with their 'lessonz' that you wont have time to even XINK there mite be a better way?

It may be true. Maybe skool really iz a big conformity factory churning out drone slavez to serve the Ruling Class.
Fact iz that Nobody you know iz ever likely to do anything but work a boring job & raze another generation uv slavez.
Or maybe the teacherz just arent smart enuff to do anything but push all the kidz thru the same extrusion die without regard to their individual talents and weaknessez. Either way, it makes no difference to you. You will just have to blindly follow the dark tunnel and try to ignore the fact that your whole life will not amount to JACK SQUAT!

Too grim? Do you reject the idea that you are doomed to a life uv anonymous drujery? Not content to do az your told & play your XBox wenever they let you have a little time for yourself? Dont see any reazon to live if you will be just another cooky cutter clone uv 1,000,000 uther kidz in your country?
Then maybe I can help.

Perspective and attitude are at the root uv everything you do. They get you going in a direction and make your choice at every fork in the road. A lot uv luck, the rite perspective & a pozitive attitude will guide you to your best future. I coud ramble on for pajez here but ritten wordz just dont penetrate very well. Instead I will recommend a selection uv muzik & moviez that have inspired me.

Get yourself theze disks frum QueensRyche: The Warning, Rage For Order, Operation Mindcrime and Empire. Aside frum the intelligent lyrics, there iznt a bad tune in the bunch. This stuff iz very heavy, so you may have to listen 3 or 4 timez before you start to like any uv it. But wuns you get it, you will be obsessed! In connection with wut I'm trying to say here, pay particular attention to Take Hold, Neue Regel and Anybody Listening.

Many great moviez prezent a message about going beyond the ordinary, defying the oddz, prevailing against the powerful forcez uv darkness. This iz the main thing I'm trying to get into your head, Junior. Even if youv alredy seen them, check out theze moviez & really XINK about them:
The Matrix (Nooalf iz the red pill), Star Wars (you are Luke & the skool system iz the Empire). Buckaroo Banzai (just to get your imagination working).

JUNIORESS: So you think you're on easy street just because you're a girl. Mom & dad will send you to a nice college were you can goof around for 4 years, meet your husband & start a family. Or, if you're very pretty, start modeling, maybe become an actress and goof around for the rest of your life.
Woopdy frikkin doo!

Got some bad news for you, sweety. There's a million pretty girls working as waitresses in sleazy truck stops all over the world who started out just like you with dreams of Hollywood & Justin Timberlake. There's a billion bored housewives who spend their afternoons watching stories and wondering why they settled for that dull schlump for a husband. Nothing to do about it now so they just light up another Salem & get a big bowl of chocolate ice cream!

Are you mad at me now because I hit the bull's eye? Probably not. Otherwise you wouldn't have read this far. More likely you think I'm some sort of Stiffly Stifferson who doesn't understand you at all.
But maybe I do understand. See if this fits:

You believe most kids are brain dead crowd followers who are all about fitting in and warping themselves to match some sorta popular stereotype. They spend all their time & energy trying to be as NORMAL as possible. Like its the only thing that matters. YOU DONT NEED THEM!
If that works for you we have some common ground.

Girls are naturally better at reading & writing than boys, so you probably don't believe Nooalf can help you. But you also will be able to learn it in no time, so why not?
All I can do is suggest you use it whenever you can. Let it become the way you spell. After a year, you will start noticing that you can think better than the kids who dont know it. This is what will give you that advantage you need. You want to be better, not just different.
Be Sarah Conner for a day; watch the Terminator movies.

MOM: Didn't think there were enough people on the planet already? Had to make some more of your own.
Don't complain when the traffic gets so bad that its hardly worth owning a car.
When you hear that the last wild tiger got shot by a cattle rancher don't fool yourself that its not partly your fault. It takes at least 5 square miles of land to support each of us fat ass Americans. Try to comfort yourself with the idea that the animals are safer & happier in the zoo. With 7 billion people on the planet, every tiny little thing we all do has a big impact on the environment. Any of the thousands of details that make up our lives could put America, our civilization or the whole planet into a nosedive. When everybody is starving to death in a wasteland, its too late to be asking why nobody noticed before it went too far.

But, your precious babies are here now, so its too late to turn back. The only thing to do is try to give them as good a future as possible and instill an attitude of responsibility for the world we all share.

And what about yourself? I'm sure you had little idea that your fun life of parties, boys & shopping would degenerate into a bland series of chores that occasionaly get interrrupted by unpleasant medical proceedures. Your mom didn't warn you. Cosmo never gave a clue. Your friends were as anxious as you to find that special guy & start a family. The dream our culture put into your head isn't what its supposed to be.

Nooalf will help reduce the impact we have on nature mainly by saving trees, but also in dozens of other ways simply by reducing the effort and material required to do anything that involves text. It would be a big help now, but when there are 10,000,000,000 people it will be ESSENTIAL. The change will take a long time, so any delay could be a disaster.
Whether or not you learn Nooalf isn't that important. But your kids MUST learn it.
Watch An Inconvenient Truth, Soylent Green, Grand Canyon and True Lies.

DAD: You Frito munching tub uv lard! Youv wasted 15 yirz at sum boring job that barely payz the billz & havent yet realized that your whole life iz being squandered by chowderhedz with degreez who have less sense than purple turkey boogerz. Az you sit in frunt uv the TV waching a bunch uv millionaire goonz ram into each uther, it shoud cross your feeble mind that maybe you shoud be doing sumthing to keep your kidz frum ending up in the same mess. If you think sending them to college iz the anser, you are a total chump. Do you really believe nobody haz a brain unless they purchased one frum a skool?

The ENTIRE educational system has become a big money scam; get a degree or else you cant get a decent paycheck. Now EVERYBODY goes to college, so it haz become a competition uv who can afford to stay longer and go to a 'better' skool. Educational credentials have become the equivelent uv hood ornaments!
BS frum IIT = Chevy. Ph.D frum Oxford = Rolls Royce. Hi skool diploma = bicycle.
Ive got sum bad news for everybody; with our entire civilization believing this krappola, WE ARE ALL GOING TO END UP LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

So how can you give your kidz sum sort uv advantage? Sure, they gotta go to college in order to get a decent job, but they will still end up as fritend little pee-onz at the mercy uv the LUMBERGZ who will infest the soul squashing international conglomerates of the future. Or worse, they could BE Lumbergz! (see the movie Office Space) No matter what you try to do for them, the future duznt look too brite. When you got your job, you were probably only competing with a few hundred candidates in your local area. Your kidz will be competing with a world of cheap labororz and even cheaper machinez.

If your kidz can tell the difference between lojik & nonsense they will at least be able to know when they are being exploited and maybe even defend themselvez. Nooalf not only givez them a way to spell, it givez them the deep rooted conviction that thingz must make sense. They wont blindly follow the MAN'z self serving rulez.

Maybe your mind iznt so feeble. If youre trying not to be a chump yourself, here are sum ideaz: Lissen to the EDGE OF THORNS disk frum SAVATAGE. Learn Nooalf. Put a tak on your boss'z chair. Ignore thoze ultrastupid left turn red arrowz. Watch Fight Club. Remember wut B.S. means wen sumbudy triez to convince you that they are rite by mentioning their educational credentialz. Ph.D. he sez? HA! Its just B.S. Piled higher & Deeper!

EVERYBODY: Once in a while you see a story about some oddball religion, weird tribe, dead civilization or wutever. You chuckle at their self destructive rituals and feel so superior. Ignorant savagez blowing all their time mangling themselvez in honor uv sum payote fueled nitemare suffered by a long dead witch doctor. "No wonder they never got anywhere." you think.

Well gess wut, buckaroo. THATS US!

I admit that Ive read alot uv science fiction and it haz skewed my perspective concerning the daily life uv the human race. You may think I'm just a wacko with this crazy Nooalf thing, but in reality, I just see thingz a little more clearly than the average Joe. It haz effectively made me an outside observer. You coud say I've been ALEINATED! So even tho Im not unusually smart, I can see how silly we woud look to an advanced alien civilization.

I imagine them observering vast herdz uv fume spewing contraptionz lurching from 1 red stoplite to the nekst. As they see that there is often no chance of a collision, yet the carz just sit, they could only conclude that the driverz must be enthralled in sum sorta religious dementia. If they dug deeper into the detailz of uv our most common mode uv transportation, they woud be appalled at the expense and gross inefficiency uv the whole system.

Az they move on to other aspects uv our civilization, such az our judicial system, insurance, employment, marriage, etc., the evidence woud stack heavily against our sanity.

"They have fairly large brainz," they woud wonder "but they don't use them most uv the time. Their individual intelligence iz pre-empted by rulez & traditionz. How haz this mass deactivation uv mental capacity been accomplished?"

In case you haven't read anything else on this website, I'll tell you wut they woud find to be the answer: Its the spelling. This huge mass uv nonsense is forced into the fresh, unformed mindz uv children before they have developed a strong lojikal foundation. The underlying message the kidz are indoctrinated with iz that thingz do not have to make sense. Dont think, just obey. Lojik is not important. Tradition iz everything. Walk backwardz. Follow the past.

I picture KaNG and KODOS waving their tentaclez in their speciez version uv our shoulder shrug uv resignation. "XLaNTos wuz correct. Human thought iz a dizeaze. We must leave before it infects us!"

Are we so lame that we cant recognize and correct the flawz in our society? Are we doomed to run off a cliff simply becauze everybody wuz just flowing along with the stampeding leaderless herd ? It seemz az a group we are just az dum az rabbits breeding till they overtax their food supply. But maybe not always. We have dun many great thingz. We can do many more if we can get this funk out uv our collective mind.

I believe that its possible for us to make pozitive large scale changez. Where therez a will therez a way. The best way to solve a problem iz at its original cauze and our spelling kaos iz the root uv our accepting any krappola the Powerz That Be chooze to foist upon us. So order sum stuff. Support the revolution. Learning a real spelling system can be the beginning uv a complete reorganization uv the software in your hed. Then maybe you can break away frum the herd mentality and gradually stop being a chump.

This soundz more like Sam Kinnison than Matt Foley. Probably bekuz I just watched Glengarry Glenross, so I have Alec Baldwin'z speech buzzing thru my hed. Send me an email if youre angry or just need more dechumpification advice.

If you havent bothered to learn any Nooalf yet, yor owtu luk, dude. The next section iz written only in Nooalf, so yor going to hav use up sum uv the fat in yor brain to read it if you want to know wut the hotty anjel iz about!

LaST UPDAT, MoRC 25 2007